I am writing this piece after having been on yet another first date myself (the first of many first dates but that’s a story for another time). Surprisingly, my nervous energy at meeting a new person manifested into not knowing what I was going to wear and what exactly I was going to do with my hair. It really got me thinking about all the things we do to prepare for a first date.

It may be as simple as choosing a cute outfit or it may even be as complex as reminding ourselves to not have any expectations. Social media has added an extra layer of anxiety to dating. There is definitely some kind of pressure to post the details of a perfect first date to our 45 followers.

How to Prep Yourself for a First Date

So how do we prepare for a first date while maintaining our sanity? The answer is simple, that’s right keep it simple.

Keep communication open

Keep all lines of communication open and communicate if/when there are any changes in your plans. I value communication above all else and the introvert in me wants a confirmation text the day of as well as a “I’m on my way” text because I’m looking for a reason to stay at home.
But seriously, a lot of us have been in a situation where someone’s phone died or there was a lack of communication regarding the specifics of the date.

This goes without saying but you have to be chill about it, do not bombard the person with “Where are you?” text messages. You want to give the impression that you are super chill (even though your nerves are short).

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Keep the location casual

The location or the set-up can be one of the most stressful aspects of a first date. I recommend just keeping it casual. Meeting a potential romantic interest shouldn’t be a pressure-filled event and it should be casual enough that if one party decided that they weren’t “feeling” it they could just excuse themselves and leave. A perfect example would be a meeting for a beverage. Worst case scenario, you or the other person would politely excuse yourself and leave after the first round. In the best-case scenario, you go on to the next activity so you can get to know each other better.

Wear something comfortable

Choosing the perfect outfit can also be a stress factor. I know I suffer from “I don’t have anything to wear” while staring at a wardrobe filled with clothes.

A quick search around the interwebs revealed that comfort is paramount when it comes to an outfit. Nobody wants to be on a date and constantly think about how tight their jeans are or how their feet are aching (been there, not cute). The internet gurus all recommend dressing well, most importantly dressing like yourself. Adapting your personal style to the setting of the date can mean anything from crispy jeans and a stylish shirt to business casual.

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Most importantly be your authentic self

It’s easy to say just to be yourself, but what if your amazing sense of humor and wit doesn’t always carry over to in-person conversations? A lot of experts recommend preparing first-date topics in order to prevent awkward silence. I would suggest not over-preparing, you don’t want the other person to feel like they’re being interviewed. In addition to that, participate in active listening and pay attention to verbal and non-verbal communication.

Dating can be a source of great anxiety for those of us with the desire to not do this thing called life on our own. Dating can also be fun and a way to meet new people, people that may or may not be in our lives for a long period of time. The key is to always be optimistic even when things don’t go your way.